Emily Baglien, TV producer, adoptee and adoption advocate, does not have advice for new parents (except for others to stop offering advice to soon-to-be parents). She does have her own inimitable journal on the six months+, patience testing process intrinsic with adoption. Firstly, let me offer my appreciation and admiration to Emily and her husband, Tim and all those who adopt, foster or provide social services for children and adults enmeshed in the trials and tribulations of adopting. Let me take a measured step back and address a lot of the frustrating, red-tape hoops and waiting game involved in bringing a child into their forever home. Emily, herself an adoptee at two months, has the loving support of her mom and her birth mom to whom she leaned on for support during the numerous times she and Tim were throttled in their dedicated pursuit to adopt an infant, Orsett; a name they sagaciously changed to Theodore. This brings up one of my main questions to the childless couple. Why was little mention made of any communication between Tim and the "troubled" birth father. The birth father is Tim's brother. The birth father is now the uncle and the uncle/aunt are now his parents. (Tim did say he didn't like his brother who had fathered five other children.) I'm curious if there was any direct communication between Tim and this brother at any point. Why didn't the offer to foster come earlier (closer to "Teddy's" birth) to subvert the baby from being fostered by a non-family related couple which also belabored the already lengthy adoption process? My second question for Emily is simply why she and Tim became so determined to adopt when it seemed the possibility of conceiving their own child was viable. I ask this because adoption is an ultimate, selfless, life long commitment. Learning why some individuals choose this route I feel is warranted. Getting back to Emily's candid, warm-hearted, jovial journal, I commend her for sharing she her thoughts and experiences for what they went through and for writing such a delightful and insightful account of their experiences intwined in the social service system overseeing children's welfares prior to formalizing an adoption. It's reassuring to know there are numerous safety and welfare checks that must be abided to help insure the safety of infants/children in need of caring families. Still, it's distressing to realize that the system is so overblown it keeps children and those wanting to provide homes for them embroiled in a waiting game that is shameful. Getting to know Emily through her journal I believe "Teddy", Tim and Emily are the family that was meant to happen. I recommend Emily Bagalien's "If it Happens, it Happens" for anyone who is thinking of adopting, knows someone who is adopting a child, or anyone that has a family - i.e. this is for everyone. To paraphrase Teddy's mom, "I'm guiding this mission, not just as a producer, a coordinator, or an adoptee. I'm at the helm of this rock as a mom." You've got this EMILY! You rock!
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