Will Shwalbe's memoir of a rocky but durable friendship with the muscular, popular jock he met at Yale when they were both tapped to join one of the college's secret societies makes a captivating read of relationships that are quixotic, symbiotic and often problematic. Shwalbe is an author, editor and publisher who was a scrawny junior at Yale when he and first gets to know Chris Maxey who will go on to become a Navy Seal and founder of an independent, ecological school in the Bahamas. With self-deprecating candor and warmth, Schwalbe makes a great case for why the two are an odd couple of oil and water that somehow blends into a rewarding, ongoing friendship that survives the test of time without rhyme but for some reason. Shwalbe, is gay, non-athletic and awkward. Maxey is a heterosexual hunk with swagger to spare. Together, they make an outwardly disparate pair. "Friendships like ours proceed largely unchronicled," notes Shwalbe. Their life paths crossed when tapped into a secret societiesy at Yale. They became intertwined for reasons that may not be apparent at a glance. There's plenty to be gleaned from their friendship, one being to give others a chance to get to know you and you them. Shwalbe admits to being skeptical about Maxey wanting to befriend him and was fearful of his thinking he might be coming onto him. Maxey concedes to using homophobic slurs and stereotyping gays. "As we shared stories with each other. we were starting to find that our lives had more in common than we could have imagined." "Shwalbe has a deft writer's gift for charm. He regales us in fits and starts and despite periods apart, they remained deeply rooted. It's hard to determine the moment a heart becomes overrun with affection and morphs into love. I was deeply invested in their individual journeys; Maxey's as a Navy Seal, family man with travails and the founder of a school, and Schwalbe's literary career, travels and finding his longtime partner. But, what made this read worth celebrating is the simple, yet elegant gospel, how fortunate it is to have formed an unshakeable friendship in life. "We enjoy one another's company. We like the people our friends are, and the person we are when we're around them."
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