Griffin Dunne's Memoir The FRIDAY AFTERNOON CLUB is Overdone

Griffin Dunne was born into a family of distinguished writers. He's the son of writer/reporter Dominick Dunne, nephew to Joan and Jon Dunne and brother of Dominique Dunne. Dominique was brutally strangled by her estranged boyfriend. Tragically, Dominick was only 22 and beginning to establish a career as an actress after appearing in Speilberg's film POLTERGEIST. The admitted killer received only a slap on the wrist sentence. The trial and its aftermath were reported on by her father, Dominick in "Vanity Fair". Griffin's memoir pays tribute to his sister, his family 's pain and horror with the trial and its outcome. The judge who overwhelmingly overruled the DA's objections made an about face after criticizing the jury after having steered them towards vindication. "He {the judge} called the punishment for the crime 'anemic and pathetically inadequate.' Having got the verdict we felt he had guided the jurors into giving, he was now blasting them for giving it." Griffin shared personal insights during the trial and proved himself, without any doubt, a gifted writer. His elite,  Hollywood upbringing and celebrity hobnobbing are compelling and his introspective candor compelling. Ironically, Dunne shared his own dismay with his father's coverage of events. "I must admit that when the article was published, I wasn't thrilled it felt like an invasion of our family's memory of a terrible time, and I thought his sharing our sorrow with the world distasteful. I was both happy for him and troubled that our tragedy made him a celebrity." The name dropping tidbits dispersed throughout were delectable. "During one of my parents' extravagant parties I got up to pee and caught Judy Garland rifling through the medicine cabinet in my bathroom. Warren Beatty once played the piano in our living room in lieu of joining a drunken game of charades captained by a smashed Ida Lupino. Sean Connery saved me from drowning." However, Dunne seemed disingenuous when dismissing his privileged Beverly Hills upbringing. "When I moved to New York, I never told my new friends any of this and found my privilege embarrassing and inexplicably shameful. I envied kids who grew up in Kansas and went to a real high school that had proms and who built bonfires before a big football game." He shares his lifelong friendship with Carrie Fisher and all the A list stars she brought into their shared NYC loft. Griffin expounds upon his careers in acting, producing and writing. What I found unnecessary and in distasteful were his shared memories of masturbation and sexual infatuations as an adolescent. The corporeal licking he received at boarding school sounded straight out of Dickens. Overall I recommend "The FRIDAY AFTERNOON CLUB" for book clubs interested in an insider's view growing up within a talented family with foibles amidst the creme da la creme of showbiz and writers. The FRIDAY AFTERNOON read is a breezy summer read; insightful and entertaining. If only the editor had redacted gratuitous details that diminished the gravitas and delight of an otherwise memorable memoir. 

A LETTER to MY TRANSGENDER DAUGHTER-Intended to Educate It Self-Congratulates

Carolyn Hays intimate and tender "open" letter to her transgender daughter speaks to the unqualified love a mother has for her child. Specifically, Hays is addressing her letter and gushing love to her transgender daughter who informed her parents at age three he was a she. In the US, it is estimated that only .5% of the population identified as transgender, a.k.a. gender dysphoria. This is a small known portion of the population. The distress of an individual who identifies other than the sex assigned at birth seems to me all consuming. I'm not without sympathy. On the contrary, I have great empathy and wish to understand more how these individuals feel, how their family feels and the impacts on the family's dynamics. I hoped to gain a first hand account of how a parent responds to their child within their home and out in the world. Of course, Hays' eloquent and exceedingly long essay is only one parent's perspective, and her myopic lens of her daughter's situation in the world. I applaud Hays candor, loving support and ongoing concerns for her daughter. The epic "epistolary" format is insightful, particularly during the daughter's preschool years. But, it morphs into an anthem for self-congratulations for the open-mindedness and altruistic DEVOTION penned ad nauseam. The family were forced to deal with social services who received notice that the child may be subject to some form of abuse requiring intervention and possibly removal from the home. It's sobering that any anonymous call can lead to mandatory investigation.The basis for looking into what mandates interventions may bear investigation. It led the family to relocate from the south where they feared another possible court order could lead to their child being taken away. The fallout felt less drastic than Hays contended. Still, it may be difficult to empathize with experiences foreign to one's own. My focus here was to learn more about how and when a child expresses their differing gender identity.  However, this was not a first person transgender account which needs to be taken into account. Hays elaborated early on about her child's personality, perceptions and emotions. Hays "asked" in her letter, "How do I parent you to brace yourself and yet not live with your bracing?" An excellent question often asked by parents. Any forthcoming answers were nebulous at best. And, aside from other families with a transgender member or transgender individuals, the correspondence tends to drone on and lose significance. My main takeaway from "LETTER," was an exercise in self-indulgence, and self-admiration. Hays began by saying "My desire [was] to be a family of tanks." She signs off by writing, "I am joyful. You are joy. You are living, breathing joy. I am so driven by my steam of pride for you. I'm a ship. Maybe a battleship." I thought perhaps a battle-axe with an axe to grind but a parent nonetheless. A parent doing their utmost to construct a loving carapace of protection combined with plenty of self-adulation.