GRIEF is for PEOPLE- Sloane Crosley Mires the Loss of Her Friend and Her Trinkets

Sloane Crosley is a renowned writer of humorist essays that have garnered literary awards, and fans for her wry, observational sense of humor. "GRIEF is for PEOPLE" is deeply personal and introspective as she mourns the loss of her friend, Russel Perrault who killed himself.  Perrault hired her at Random House. From there, the relationship evolved into much more. Crosley describes Perrault as "my favorite person, the one who somehow sees me both as I want to be seen and as I actually am, the one whose belief in me over the years has been the most earned (he is not my parent), the most pure (he is not my boyfriend), and the most forgiving (he is my friend)'. Crosley navigates her grief away from painting Perrault as a saint as she quickly counters. "There are, of course, days when he is not my favorite person, days when I would pay him to be a little less like himself."  Crosley's memoir is more clever than maudlin, more delightful than depressing, yet it is all of that and more.  Perrault's unexpected suicide coincides with a burglary of her jewelry and treasured trinkets stolen from her apartment from the spice case purchased during a flea market trip (one of Perrault's favorite pastimes) enjoyed together where he cajoled her into purchasing the item "meant for her." The exhuming of relevance between a robbery and the death of a loved would seem to bear inconsequential significance. Crosley's deft skills as a writer and sleuth expose the crossroads and the disjunction between the two events.  "In the case of the burglary, there is a bad guy, there is a potential for restitution and there is a potential for fairness. Not so for a suicide." Joan Didion's memoir "The Year of Magical Thinking" is often referred to as Crosley convinces herself her obsession with regaining her possessions is sound. "If the necklace can come home, then everything will be just as it used to be." Nonetheless, Crosley pursues the villain who robbed her of mementos and looks back for an understanding why her beloved friend would chose to end his life which are both responsible for extracting her happiness and security.  Crosely doesn't gloss over her depression but neither does she let us wallow in morbidity. She illustrates Perrault as complex, convivial with an infectious dash of  exuberance. As the layers of Perrault's character are removed and Crosley contends with life going forward, we're uplifted peering through the sharp lens of her inconsolable loss and unflappable spirit. Looking back with somber acceptance of Perrault's heartbreaking decision, Crosley asks him, "How come you didn't see the great wheel of the world and find a different spoke? Were you so jaded and impatient? Weren't you curious about what would happen tomorrow and the days after that?"