Swiss Author Alain de Botton's "The Course of Love" It Never Runs Smooth but It's What We Do, WHY?

Alain de Botton (b Switzerland 1969) is a Swiss/British writer of fiction and non-fiction; "How Proust Can Change Your Life" (1997.)  His philosophical & moving novel about romance & marriage with its trials & tribulations between Rabih and Kirsten is endlessly fascinating & profound. "The Course of Love," is befuddled as to "... why anyone wants to get married."  The author makes clever  clinical observations on the evolution of romance to love, marriage, baby carriage, infidelity, cruelty & perhaps compromised comfort in companionship.  However, nothing is mundane or pedantic in this charming & alarming wake-up call as to what we should consider when considering the other person in our relationship.  De Botton observations are referred to as "romantic order" - not as a command, but in the natural progression of romance, relationships & life unfolding.  The unlikely pairing of of the swarthy, reserved Rabih, born in Lebanon and the resourceful Kirsten, a fair skinned bonnie lass from Scotland is in itself a miraculous compilation of coincidental connections.  Typically what we call love, is merely the start of love as it veers & develops in unpredictable ways.  But, the lure (for sure) is the promise of ending loneliness.  Still, marriage is an optimistic gamble where the house generally wins.  If only the ecstatic feelings compelling us forward into marriage could be perpetual. But, blissful & wishful emotions erode over time.  De Botton's penetrating writing explores more than the love between a couple.  He captures the transforming power of love for one's children.  And, wittingly, notes obsolete notions of marriage, parenting, monogamy and expectations for harmony.  There is a plethora of wisdom in witnessing the evolution of Rabih & Kirsten as individuals, as a couple and parents.  We're privy to their marriage counseling.  This proves humorous as well as sagacious.  Rabih justifies his adultery because monogamy is tantamount to an infidelity towards the richness of life.   Rabih realizes a loving marriage & children kill erotic spontaneity and an affair can destroy a marriage.  There is no solution for combining the paradigms for sexual exploration & maintaining security within the family.  The narrator speaks for both parties (but mostly from Rabih's perspective) notes:  "Marriage:  a deeply peculiar & ultimately unkind thing to inflict on anyone one claims to care for."  Many tongue in cheek comments are tinged with wry witticism & tenderness of heart. "The Course of Love" was contemplative & cunning from beginning to end.  Don't detour from this delightful discourse on the course of love.  "Love is a skill, not just an enthusiasm."